Crimes against the English language and your own business II

March 30, 2010

in Fit Focus Flair, Writing your presentation

How about this for corporate nonsense-

“Combining the strategy, business processes, implementation, and technical support skills of a CRM systems integrator with the data management, analytic, and marketing skills of a database marketing service provider to deliver and operate closed-loop marketing and sales environment.”

What do you think the company ‘talking’ actually does.  Do they do:

  1. Something with telecommunications or computers?
  2. Sales stuff?
  3. Does it involve wrestlers and custard?
  4. Zzz… sorry, were you talking to me?

The correct answer is (of course!) ‘3’.  But you wouldn’t want to meet the guys that wrote that would you?  Can you imagine an hour of that brought to life?  Can you imagine all of that polyester and those Disney character neckties?

Now just before we feel all smug and self-satisfied, I’d better ask us all to check our own marketing stuff, website, business cards and pitch scripts for that kind of manure, ‘cause it’d be horrible to be a hypocrite as well as unintelligible, wouldn’t it?  Oh God I’ve just read the copy for our next brochure…

This is a part of my Fit, Focus & Flair model. To be great, a presentation must be a perfect FIT for the situation; the content must have complete FOCUS on it’s purpose and message; and it must have enough FLAIR to stand out on the day, and in our memories. Learn more about developing your Fit, Focus and Flair.

Jim Harvey

Jim Harvey

Managing Director at The Message Business
Jim is the MD of The Message Business, a company which helps FTSE 100 companies to sell themselves, and their products better. Speech writer, Prezi trainer and designer, coach and consultant, Jim also finds time to be a proud father and husband.
Jim Harvey

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

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