‘Stroking’ is an important skill to master, for people who want to be more likeable and socially confident. To keep things simple, a ‘stroke’ in human interaction, is simply a physical or verbal sign that we like, care or understand another human being. The simplest examples abound-
[one_third]Physical strokes as follows-
- Listening attentively
- A touch of the hand
- A handshake
- A pat on the back
[/one_third]
[one_third]And verbal strokes too-
- We laugh at people’s jokes
- We call them by their name
- We look to agree
- We use a warm and generous tone in our voice
- We say yes please and thank you
[/one_third]
[one_third]And ‘non-verbal’ strokes can include
- Eye contact,
- Smiling,
- Head nodding,
- Concenration on them in conversation
- Stillness when listening
[/one_third]
Conversational strokes
- Showing that we’re listening by asking relevant ‘double-click’ type questions
- Summarising what people have said to us to show we understand
- Paraphrasing and questioning for detail before responding with a point of our own
- Looking to show the points we agree upon